Greetings, Miss Manners Using a $21 breathalyzer I purchased online, I devised an entertaining game to stop partygoers from driving while intoxicated. Have I Had Too Many is what I call it.
A free trip home is the reward for visitors who are at or nearly within the legal limit!
Everything was going smoothly until one visitor denied the complimentary trip after testing far over double the allowed amount. When I warned him not to drive or I would have to contact the police, he swore, pushed me away, and was on the verge of leaving with his equally impaired companion.
He did, I did, and he was taken into custody.
The evening was obviously spoiled.
Since he is an adult and seemed alright, a few people departed, claiming that I overreacted.
What should I have said or done differently, Miss Manners? Because I was in a head-on collision with an intoxicated driver, my guests are aware that I take this seriously. I had numerous surgeries as a result of the collision.
I am aware that many people have to deal with visitors who insist on driving when they shouldn’t.
PERSONAL READER: An intriguing strategy. Additionally, Miss Manners uses the word “interesting” in the same non-traditional way that you seem to use “fun.”
Your game presented drunk driving as a joke, whatever you wanted people to believe. Additionally, keep in mind that anyone you know who is alcohol-impaired would need to understand your explanation if you have one explaining why that was not your intention.
We should use better judgment going forward. You should provide less booze. If you notice a visitor who bothers you, you can ask a neighbor to assist in getting the disabled person home safely. (And if that individual is not preoccupied with your next move, they will be far more responsive.)
Of course, you shouldn’t serve alcohol at all if this is a really unmanageable issue in your group of friends.
Greetings, Miss Manners I enjoy oddballs, scapegoats, and challenging individuals. I always have.
I stay friends with practically everyone, regardless of our disagreements, although I do withdraw myself when someone mistreats me. Since I don’t like that person, you shouldn’t either, thus I won’t participate in the bullying culture.
I’ve been questioned, “Why are you still friends with her?” by certain individuals. In addition to the fact that love is not always explicable, I also keep my friendships private.
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How can I respond to these folks in a courteous manner without defending or elaborating on our friendships? (It’s ironic that some of them belong to that loose, unpopular group.) I don’t want to make anyone angry.
PERSONAL READER: by failing to defend or explain the friendship. Use a shrug and a disarming smile when you respond, “Because I like her,” the first three times.
The next three repeats can be made with progressively increasing annoyance if that isn’t enough to bore your questioner into abandoning it.
Miss Manners can be reached by email at [email protected], via her website at www.missmanners.com, or by mail at Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
