Greetings, Miss Manners Is it impolite to tell someone’s dog to “beat it!” when it tries to kiss or jump on me when I’m at their house?
GENTLE READER: It is, indeed. It’s also impolite to say such to their kid.
Greetings, Miss Manners I am a member of a local social media community that facilitates the lending and borrowing of goods.
Someone kindly replied to my recent post in which I requested to borrow a piece of equipment that I would require following surgery.
Since I don’t know this individual, I’d like to give them something as a thank you when I return the gift, but I’m not sure what. Do you have any suggestions?
PERSONAL READER: More than any candle or coffee shop gift card, the surgery and the necessity of the equipment are what bind you to this stranger.
Miss Manners is confident that your sincere appreciation, expressed in the form of a kind and grateful letter, will be sufficient. In addition, the equipment must be returned free of any bodily fluids.
Greetings, Miss Manners I’m looking for advice on how to gracefully deal with my food constraints.
Since I have celiac disease, I am unable to tolerate gluten of any kind. I can become really sick from even small quantities of cross-contamination, like using the same knife to butter both my regular bread and my gluten-free bread.
Fortunately, that is not a problem in our home because my spouse is very supportive and adheres to my diet at home.
I usually bring my own food to family get-togethers. Although I am aware that this isn’t the most traditional course of action, my family and I have talked about it, and everyone is aware that it has to do with my medical needs rather than rejecting someone’s food.
Eating out presents the true difficulty. Regretfully, the majority of eateries lack the procedures necessary to securely meet my needs. I tried phoning ahead of time early in my diagnosis to make sure my meal could be prepared safely, but many places just couldn’t promise that. Despite their best efforts, cross-contamination frequently occurred accidentally.
In order to prevent upsetting acquaintances who might not be aware of my dietary requirements, I usually turn down their invitations. I tell them that I can’t eat out because of my dietary limitations if they insist.
Some recommend that I bring my own food or just join them without eating, while others just drop the matter. Even if I like their company, it’s not quite the same to watch others enjoying meals I can no longer appreciate, and the former feels disrespectful to the establishment.
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Any guidance you could provide me on how to deal with these circumstances civilly without making myself or others feel inconvenienced would be greatly appreciated.
PERSONAL READER: I have trouble with meals, but what about coffee or a drink?
If Miss Manners were a gambler, she would wager that at least one of your friends would reply that they don’t consume coffee or alcohol. which can make the solution more difficult, but your friends’ empathy for the issue will only grow.
Miss Manners can be reached by email at [email protected], via her website at www.missmanners.com, or by mail at Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
