To Eric,I was close with my neighbor, so I asked if she and her husband would want to join us for supper.
We scheduled a date because she appeared excited. She then asked if we could move the date because they would be out of town. Yes, we did.
She texted the day before, saying she was too sick to go. I just said, I’m sorry. Nothing more has been heard.
Should I get in touch with her? My spouse accuses me of being cruel. Give advice.
Date Night for Dinner
To Dinner,Insensitive? I’m not entirely sure. It’s possible that the apology came out as hurried or rude. Perhaps that’s how you intended it. However, reading tone over text is challenging. Another possibility is that you were just verifying the cancellation.
It would be your neighbor’s responsibility to inquire about rescheduling as soon as she felt better.
But because you said it was quite friendly, I think you might want to get in touch with me again if you’d still like to continue this friendship. Maybe by saying that you hope she’s feeling better and that, if she’s amenable, you’d want to schedule another date. If she is not interested for any reason, she has the option to decline.
However, I would leave things alone if she cancels once more.
To Eric, As we often do, we were paying a visit to my sister-in-law. After we arrived home, I gave her a call a few days later. Outside the bathroom door, she told me she thought our dog had urinated on the carpet.
She claimed to have cleaned up a tiny yellow patch that she had observed without touching or smelling it.
Naturally, I felt ashamed and replied, “Oh no, we’re not going to stay with you any longer.”
He most likely did it when I was using the restroom, she claimed. To put it another way, she is a neat freak.
Considering that she didn’t touch or smell it, I’m finding it difficult to move on from this. The carpet has brown specks.
With our dog, we have been there numerous times. Any suggestions would be beneficial.
Accident Visit
To the Visitor:Do not yet exile oneself. Your sister-in-law doesn’t seem to be resenting you over this. She may be a neat freak, but it also seems like she’s cleaned up the offending area, whether she peed there or not, thus her house is now clean again.
These incidents do occasionally occur with pets. The vast and extensive range of carpet-cleaning products featuring dogs on the label would be discontinued if they didn’t.
Perhaps you might give your sister-in-law another call to see if anything more needs to be cleaned. If so, you may want to pay for it as well. However, it seems to have been a minor problem in the first place and is now only a memory.
To Eric,I think my religious institution’s president is a great leader but a terrible speaker.
I’ve attended several of the sessions he’s conducted, and I’m completely overwhelmed by how many times he’s kind of asked, “You know?” midway through a statement. These abound in his speech.
For instance, he stated at the most recent meeting that he would essentially provide the microphone to anyone who wanted to speak. There is a phase-out of the declarative statement.
The man is, ironically, the principal of an elementary school. If he attentively listened to a recording, I believe he would be surprised at how many speech tics he utters. Can I inform him in a tactful way?
Debate on Speech
To Speech: The problem with constructive criticism is this: It won’t accomplish its objective if the recipient hasn’t requested it and/or isn’t receptive. First, find out if he is receptive to criticism.
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If welcomed, this type of advice can be quite beneficial. Leading with a compliment is how I like to go. Crucially, I chose to end the compliment with a full stop instead of a comma or semicolon. In this manner, rather than only serving as a preamble to what I truly want to say, the audience can hear the compliment as a stand-alone concept.
Your problems with the interjections may be lessened if you concentrate on the aspects of his leadership and public speaking that you value. You can work together to improve your ability to hear him if he’s difficult for you to listen to but you’re interested in the material.
Remember that speaking is personal and that some habits are difficult to break, so be courteous and brief. Therefore, exercise patience and try to listen to the words.
[The New York Times Social Qs column received the identical query. That advisor advised against speaking up.]
Contact R. Eric Thomas with inquiries at [email protected] or by mail at P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Get his weekly email at rericthomas.com and follow him on Instagram at @oureric.
