To Eric,I am an amputee who is right above the knee. After a fight with my mother got out of hand, she stabbed me seven times and used a bat to knock me out two years ago, leaving me amputee.
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Twelve years were granted to her. She will do six. She lives next door to me.
Must I relocate? And why should I relocate? When I was a teenager, I purchased this property. I’ve spent my entire life working. I have invested blood, sweat, and tears into this house; why should I give it up?
Is staying worth the trauma?
Desire to Remain at Home
To My Home: You shouldn’t need to relocate. Additionally, it appears that you have several years to figure out how to create a safe environment in your house. Discuss your options for obtaining a restraining order or other protections with the local authorities and possibly the DA who handled your case.
But this goes beyond property and physical security. This neighborhood is a place of violence for you, even with her behind bars, so if you don’t confront it, the trauma will probably continue to be reproduced.
A support group or therapist can assist you in processing the significant loss you have experienced. You’ll be in a better position to make a wise decision when she returns if you take care of your emotional health.
To Eric,We are three female former coworkers who have been getting together on a regular basis to celebrate Christmas and birthdays for the past ten years.
We have taken turns dining, laughing, and remembering at each other’s houses, and we have always enjoyed ourselves.
One of our group members abandoned the other two of us this year. She refuses to answer texts or calls. We don’t know if we should keep reaching out or let it go because we are completely in the dark and perplexed by this.
At no point has she indicated any issues to us. She didn’t ask us to the baby shower, even though she recently became a grandmother.
I’m inclined to ignore it and hope she’s alright. What should we do, in your opinion?
Heartbroken
To My Heartbroken: This sudden change is alarming. To make sure she’s physically safe, you should get in touch with anyone else who knows her, even if they only know her in passing.
Something as basic as “I haven’t heard from her in a bit, do you know if everything is OK?” is sufficient; you don’t need to go into the specifics of your friendship. could partially soothe your mind.
Since you are aware of the new grandchild, you probably already know that she is doing well; she is simply not answering. However, get in touch if you’re unsure. It might not encourage her to get in touch with you again, but it might confirm that she has a strong social safety net in case she needs it.
It’s possible—albeit regrettable—that she has outgrown the friendship or that her feelings have changed and neither you nor the other buddy have noticed. In addition to hurting you, this might make you feel helpless.
Putting your friendship through a closure ceremony is one way to regain some of that power. This sounds fancier than it is, so don’t worry.
The place where your friendship used to be is now a sheer drop-off. It will feel like a wound that never goes away. Write her a note wishing her well and thanking her for the companionship she offered you and the moments you spent together. Sending it might not even be necessary or desired. This letter is also for you.
Even if we might not always have the opportunity to say farewell and “thank you” to the people we care about, we still choose to do so. And it becomes true when you pronounce it.
To Eric, I said to a new neighbor I had met that I had lived in Chicago for several years before relocating to my present city. This new neighbor stated, “I’m sorry,” after glancing at me. What did I mean when I apologized? Then he turned and left.
Could you please clarify this?
A former resident of Chicago
To My Chicagoan:Unfortunately, as someone who enjoys Chicago every time I visit, I don’t think there is anything to be said here.
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Those who feel compelled to disparage entire cities should practice their speaking abilities. Take up a hobby, perhaps. It demonstrates a genuine ignorance of the size of the world.
To write off a whole city is absurd. Writing off an entire block is foolish. It’s quite acceptable if you don’t want to reside anywhere. But to claim that it’s unsalvageable or that no one should live there? Whoa, I can’t fathom lacking creativity.
[A resident of Los Angeles who had a similar situation received a longer answer from Eric.What he said is as follows:
Contact R. Eric Thomas with inquiries at [email protected] or by mail at P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Get his weekly email at rericthomas.com and follow him on Instagram at @oureric.
